Labour to give entire wellbeing budget to the Auckland Blues



This afternoon in Wellington a ‘wellbeing budget’ was announced by Jacinda Arden and Grant Robertson. All government money has been allocated to saving the Auckland Blues rugby franchise in 2019.

It has been rumoured that after a few too many gins in parliament on Monday evening Grant Robertson just gave up trying to balance the books and decided to just gift the amount to a group in need

“This is a great day for Auckland rugby, but probably a rather shit day for everyone else in New Zealand. The Auckland Blues have struggled for many, many years now and this government is absolutely sick of the piss poor quality of rugby they have produced time and time again” Jacinda told our reporter.

Blues coach Leon McDoanld told Thai Castle “ Yeah obviously this has been a surprise, we’re not entirely sure what to do with the billions of dollars but we have purchased a machine that brings back people from the dead and  so we are going to go for Jonah and Meads to start. Then we will probably buy every player in the competition and make them sit on the bench.”

Richie McCaw and Dan Carter were seen sniffing around blues HQ this afternoon.

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