Labour to give entire wellbeing budget to the Auckland Blues

 

 

This afternoon in Wellington a ‘wellbeing budget’ was announced by Jacinda Arden and Grant Robertson. All government money has been allocated to saving the Auckland Blues rugby franchise in 2019.

It has been rumoured that after a few too many gins in parliament on Monday evening Grant Robertson just gave up trying to balance the books and decided to just gift the amount to a group in need

“This is a great day for Auckland rugby, but probably a rather shit day for everyone else in New Zealand. The Auckland Blues have struggled for many, many years now and this government is absolutely sick of the piss poor quality of rugby they have produced time and time again” Jacinda told our reporter.

Blues coach Leon McDoanld told Thai Castle “ Yeah obviously this has been a surprise, we’re not entirely sure what to do with the billions of dollars but we have purchased a machine that brings back people from the dead and  so we are going to go for Jonah and Meads to start. Then we will probably buy every player in the competition and make them sit on the bench.”

Richie McCaw and Dan Carter were seen sniffing around blues HQ this afternoon.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.