Warriors to loyal fans – “Piss off we don’t need you anymore”

The high-flying NZ Warriors have issued a statement to all the fans that have stuck with them throughout the last six seasons: piss off.

After their five wins in a row drew a sold out crowd to Mt Smart, club CEO Jim Doyle has said that the arrival of new, wealthier fans has meant they stand to make a lot more money through increasing ticket prices.

“We’ve looked at the numbers and it stands to reason that they’re not bringing enough money through the gate. This bandwagon lot that have just shown up don’t know that we’ve been basically been giving tickets away while the team was playing like shit, so we’re gonna sting them hard. Like $50 a ticket from now on!” he told Thai Castle.

Warriors captain Sean Johnson said it was a case of ‘shit happens’. “The reality is we need those seats for all the fans who have given up on the Blues.

The fact is they’ve got money, the old fans can all go around to each other’s houses and watch a free to air replay on Prime.“I mean, that’s what a real fan would do, right?”

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