Mark Englishman an English tourist from Chelsea has been placed in a Wellington psych ward after telling multiple people that the Lions are going to win their series with the All Blacks
Two of Marks close friends told Thai Castle “We came from the U.K. To watch the boys play. We honestly thought we could beat the All Blacks but then we lost to the fucking Blues and knew all hope was lost. However Mark became thought that it made their chances better and that they would not only win the series but win 3-0.”
Over the next few weeks Mark began telling everyone he knew that the Lions would sweep the All Blacks which got him in several pub altercations and also saw him interrupt a Christchurch Primary School assembly to announce that “The Foooking Lions will sweep ya”
Mrs. Smith who teaches at the school where the incident happened told Thai Castle “He just came out of nowhere spouting some absolute shit, we were handing out the Teachers Awards to the kids when he interrupted after the assembly all the kids said they thought he was a deluded cunt.”
It seemed like things only got worse for Mark last weekend when the Lions were comprehensively beaten by the All Blacks making a Lions sweep impossible. However, this made Mark spiral further into delusion.
His friends described the ordeal saying “Yeah Mark didn’t take the loss well. He started by saying the Lions let them win to make it seem like a close series. Then he blamed the refs and then the All Blacks saying how there not real and how the game was not real. It’s a fake game he said over and over walking up and down the aisles at Eden Park. He now claims that all the players were actors and that the game was secretly played in an undisclosed location to prevent fans from knowing that the Lions won. He said that only he knew where the location was and the result which was Lions winning 1000-0. We thought he was having us on then we realize he’s lost it so we got him admitted for a few nights”
Reports show Mark is on the road to recovery and has even admitted that Owen Farrell is not a better first five than Beauden Barrett