Things have gone from bad to worse for the Vodafone Warriors with another loss being compounded by a STD outbreak.
The team was playing Pokemon Go last night at the team Hotel in Hamilton when they were attacked by a swarm of Chlamydia.
Warriors captain Roger Tuivasa-Check told Thai Castle “Bro I’ve never seen anything like it. The swarm of chlamydia was just came out of nowhere. I didn’t know it could fly aye but the swarm was angry as aye”
“Massive swarms of Chlamydia are a normal sight in Hamilton especially on cold nights as the STD must band together to brave the cold conditions. The side effect is that when Chlamydia swarms together it gets rather nasty.” said Hamilton Mayor Andrew King
Bodene Thompson reportedly was pissed at the swarm for appearing telling Thai Castle “I was really fucked off when that swarm of Chlamydia just appeared. I was about to catch a Snorlax on Pokemon Go, but the swarm is so dense that it took away my phone reception. No data meant no Snorlax. So I just went up to the Swarm and was like run it straight you Chlamydia cunts! You’re just a poor mans herpes”
The result saw the swarm run it straight dispersing on the whole team. The Warriors put up a good fight with Johnson throwing some good punches and Blake Ashford attempting to pour tooth paste on incoming streams.
While the whole team has been infected the team doctor told Thai Castle “We thought this might happen if we came down to Hamilton. However we are prepared and have given the each member of the team a Jelly Tip Ice Cream and some Colgate toothpaste. They will be sorted in a couple days.
Coach Stephen Kearney who was itching himself during the interview said “This Chlamydia attack I believe will be a season defining moment for the team. We will bounce back even stronger”