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THAI CASTLE LATEST

Crusaders get hammered at Marika Vunibaka’s 50th birthday, may forfeit tonight’s match

Reports out of Suva today have revealed the shocking prospect that tonight’s Super Rugby fixture may be forfeited in Fiji’s capital. Thai Castle understands that the entire Crusaders squad threw a surprise birthday party last night for former winger Marika Vunibaka,

Thai Castle understands that the entire Crusaders squad threw a surprise birthday party last night for former winger Marika Vunibaka, however, the aftermath left at least a dozen players needing medical assistance.

Coach Scott Robertson was among those left with unexplainable medical ailments, told us “Mate, I don’t know what the hell we ended up drinking last night, but it was fuckin’ rough. Matt Todd is up a tree somewhere thinking that wolves are chasing him, and Sam Whitelock has suddenly gained the ability to speak Tongan. Which is weird because we’re in Fiji.” 

When asked about the concoction that was given to the players, Vunibaka was puzzled because he claims he simply mixed local kava with Justin Marshall’s new energy drink, Boomfa. “Marshy sold me a pallet of this stuff and told me it was all good. I’m pretty disappointed, looks like I may have to pull on the boots again to help out the boys” said Vunibaka, who now weighs 170kgs.

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