Kiwis captain Jesse Bromwich and Sideshow Bob look-a-like Miguel Proctor have finally spoken out after being accused of purchasing cocaine at Canberra Aquarium hours after the Kiwis loss to the Wallabies.
Bromwich and Proctor told Thai Castle “Mate we were snorting flour not cocaine. We were planning on baking a cake for our coach to console him after another defeat. So we decided to meet up with a local Canberra baker to source some ultra refined flour. When we bake we go hard as fuck.”
The pair met up with the local baker Jason Flourman a couple hours after the match. Flourman who is currently in court for drug charges admits that he does deal coke on the side when things are slow selling flour. “Mate there are like no margins selling flour, so I sling coke or pills from time to time. But I can honestly say these boys actually wanted flour. Have no idea why they were snorting it though”
Kiwis coach David Kidwell said that the cake was delicious and kept him awake for hours after eating it. Yeah I was pretty flat but then had a couple slices of the cake Jason and Miguel made me. Shit had me buzzing, just stayed up and watched every game I have won as coach of the Kiwis. It was a good 80 minutes”