Warriors sign Adele at prop in order to keep big Mt Smart crowds

The Vodafone Warriors, fresh off another disappointing loss last night, are attempting to cash in on the pulling power of singing sensation Adele after her concerts brought 700,000 mostly Pakeha punters to Mt Smart Stadium over the weekend.

“We figure if she can pull those sort of numbers for a few singing shows, they’ll show up on Sundays to watch the team play, too.” coach Stephen Kearney told Thai Castle in an exclusive interview. “I mean, it’d be like her show, but way better because we have Fritz’s Wieners and Carlsberg.”

Adele revealed she was actually an accomplished rugby league player, describing her style of play as ‘being a bit of a grub’. “I used to play in the front row when I was growing up in Wigan.” Adele said. “I was actually on the way to making it in Super League but I got a torn ACL in U-20’s and concentrated on singing ever since. But this contract offer has brought back the passion for hit ups, tackles and sneaky eye gouges in the ruck.”

Adele has reportedly been negotiating the deal overnight, but the offer may end up meaning the Warriors breach the NRL salary cap. This didn’t bother Kearney, who admitted the Warriors ‘weren’t going to win anything this year anyway.’

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