Once again the Chiefs have found themselves at the centre of a stripper-related controversy, after the cause of the fire this morning that destroyed popular Auckland strip bar Showgirls has been revealed.
Thai Castle understands that the team, who were enjoying their bye week in Auckland city, purchased some of Blues coach Tana Umaga’s dreadlocks, which are known for their powerful hallucinogenic properties.
“Well we had to give it a try after the Blues boys got all fucked up on them the other week.” Said Chiefs captain Liam Messam. “Being the Chiefs, we of course convened in the closest strip club, which we thought would be empty on a Monday morning.” The team then apparently fell victim to the dreads’ potent, almost mystical powers, and dropped a burning roach to the floor which set fire to a curtain. However, the team was saved by former All Black Justin Marshall, who leapt into action after appearing from one of the lap dance rooms.
“I’d been there all weekend” said Marshall “When I saw what’d happened, I chopped a king can of my new energy drink Boomfa, which gave me the strength to carry all the boys out before they got harmed.” The Fire Service were reluctant to praise Marshall as a hero though, saying that they ‘still think he’s a fuckwit’.