SANZAR have made the decision to cut the Auckland Blues out of Super Rugby in 2018 after all players tested positive for the banned substance. This makes the decision to cut down the competition easier for SANZAR, however, will be deeply upsetting to 14,000 Aucklanders.
Thai Castle approached team members for comment, most wanted to remain anonymous but all told us that they had no idea that dreadlocks were on the banned substances list. Sonny Bill was seen immediately on the phone and speaking in French as what can only be presumed is another attempt at French rugby.
Captain, Jerome Kaino, told Thai Castle “I heard the news on my 3 hour bus commute to training, anyway, Tana reckoned it was all good cause that’s how he reckoned he won the premiership with Counties Manukau cause it helped them relax. Ratshit that it’s banned though, do you think I can still keep my AT HOP?”
SANZAR CEO Profitietus Maximus issued the following to the media.
“While we are saddened to have to remove team from the competition to ensure it remains commercially viable we really had no option after the samples came back from the lab. We would like to apologise to the 14,000 Aucklanders who actually give a shit after week 4, seeing as it is less than 1% of the population we didn’t really see the big issue”
It has been rumoured that Tana Umaga fled Auckland immediately and is crashing at ex green MP Nándor Tánczos’ shack.