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Blues Sign ‘Veitchy on Sport’ Fan To Be Assistant Coach

Paul Thomas, 38, has been signed by the Blues as assistant coach after rising to prominence of the ‘Veitchy on Sport’ Facebook page.

Paul Thomas discovered the joy of Tony Veitch’s Facebook page after the Blues loss to the Highlanders on Saturday night. Paul went to social media to vent his frustration, “Blues are too soft rugby not the same game it used to be… too many city boys playing.” Paul has lived in Auckland for the past two decades but still acknowledges his rural roots of Napier. He decided to follow up that post with several others including, “too many darkies in the Blues… lack discipline.” However, his post which received the most feedback was, “shouldn’t have wags at game… distracting boys… girls should be at home.”

The middle aged Kiwi males who also live vicariously through young sportsmen as a way to compensate for their growing pukus and diminishing hairlines were very receptive to Paul’s posts. He averaged 20 likes. Paul said of the page, “I’ve viewed Veitchy’s page before, but this time it just hit me like an abusive spouse.” “I’ll definitely be spending more time there, Veitchy is just a great Kiwi bloke and really connects with his fans. I’ve also heard he connects with his lefts. But I don’t care about that, that’s just the media trying to keep him down.”

Tana Umaga is reportedly in disbelief about the Blues decision to hire Paul Thomas especially after his only previous rugby coaching experience was winning the World Cup on Jonah Lomu Rugby back in 2001.

Paul Thomas has already delivered on his promise to ban Wags from Blues games and says that they will only be allowed in the coaches box if they want to attend matches.

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