As Mediaworks settle on yet another no-name to lure viewers into their primetime show, the most likely candidate sits in his Dunedin student flat asking himself yet again, “When will MY time come?”
It is the third year in a row Andrew Hore has missed out on the role, and this one certainty hurt the most. Andrew’s flatmate, second year Otago University student Callum, spoke with Thai Castle.
“Yeah Andrew hasn’t been himself this week. He has burnt the toast when usually he would be burning couches. He has crushed a pelican with his bare hands when usually he would be doing a pelican with us lads and, finally, he’s given up on clubbing. That’s clubbing seals, I mean”.
Thai Castle can reveal that Andrew had already written down a list of date ideas for the show which we can share with our readers.
- Have a scrum off between himself and all the contestants.
- A full 2 day court session bender at University rugby club
- Attend his actual court session for supplying unlicensed guns to a minor
- Shoot Seals while listening to Seal and try and Seal the deal
- Watch Once Were Warriors
- Chest Press competition, no spotter
- 1 on 1 bullrush
- Catching and killing a wild boar with our bare hands
- Drinking our own piss
- Fuck bareback
Andrew couldn’t be reached for comment.Andrew Hore misses out on The Bachelor. Again.