Highlanders Confirm ‘Halftime Couch Burning’ For Season Opener

The Otago Highlanders, fresh off their first Super Rugby title, are vowing to do whatever it takes to boost their fans game day experience.

Highlanders captain, Ash Dixon, told Thai Castle, “We saw what a shit show the Wellington Sevens were this year so we decided to take crowd engagement fucking serious. The boys got together and thought about what could we do to attract big crowds to each game. While cheap piss was the obvious choice, it was Malakai Fekitoa who suggested we burn a whole bunch of couches at halftime”. 

When asked about his idea, Fekitoa explained “You know when I was growing up in Auckland I didn’t even know where Otago was till I was 16. Then my mate showed me this video of all the couches he used to burn when he was at Uni down there. He said that there was no feeling like watching an old ass couch be set ablaze. Since then I have yearned to burn my first couch, so that is why at half time in tomorrow nights game I will be making my couch burning debut”.

Fekitoa will burn fifteen couches at halftime with the help of 10 litres of gasoline and a Speights branded Flame Thrower. Fans have been also been promised free tickets if they bring their own couches to the game.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.