Couple ejected from Singles Zone; ruin NRL Nines for everyone

A Wellington couple, known as Steven and Rachel, who flew up for the Downer NRL Nines have caused a bigger upset at the Nines than the Warriors being booted out of contention, by hanging out in the Singles Zone, as a couple.

Spotted holding hands on the Kiss Cam, the crowd were instantly silenced, and the NZ Warriors match against Paramatta was paused for several minutes as security guards marched the disgusting couple from the area.

While the Singles Zone is generally for debauchery among sexual beings, they were easily identified as a couple by their hand holding, and the way Steven was looking Rachel in the eyes, and not at her breasts.

Duco Events, Dean Lonergan, was hopeful that this wouldn’t have a negative impact on the future of the tournament.

“It’s always a shame when a small group, or just a couple, ruin the fun for everyone else. We were prepared for a number of eventualities, but not this”

“The Zone rules will be looked at, and we will get this right next year. In the mean time, we really hope people will turn up for the Sunday session tomorrow”

“Bro, I came here for some pussy cause I haven’t had any in months, and there they go just disrespecting my area. I don’t go to their house and shit in their pool, ya know?” a drunk onlooker told Thai Castle.

Other singles, some of whom were crying into their red cups, are being offered counselling by Downer as a gesture of sponsorship goodwill.

NRL CEO, Todd Greenberg, assures Thai Castle that the event will continue tomorrow as planned.

Steven and Rachel were last seen waiting for an Uber.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.