Tony Veitch named NRL Nines Singles Zone ambassador

Duco Events controversial ‘Singles Zone’ at the 2017 Downer NRL Nines has a new face: veteran broadcaster Tony Veitch. Duco boss Dean Lonergan is expecting a surge in ticket sales after revealing the true motivation behind the Singles Zone idea.

“He’s the most single man in New Zealand, and basically every creep and loser on Facebook looks up to him.” Lonergan said in an exclusive interview to Thai Castle.

“Just look at his page, it’s just idiots who think everything he does is great and want to have a beer with him for some reason. By putting all those pricks in one place it means everyone else can have a good time without being bothered. Fuck, don’t tell Veitch that though, he thinks it’s gonna be some sort of huge party.”

When asked what any females who went into the Singles Zone could expect, Lonergan laughed long and hard.

“As if any women are going to go in there now, ha ha ha.”

Meanwhile, an oblivious Veitch was quoted as being very excited at what he sees as an opportunity to rectify his battered public image. He told Thai Castle he was interested in everyone’s ‘thoughts’ as to what to bring to the role. Veitch said he was very safety conscious, and would be making sure the stairways would be clear at all times in case of an emergency.

He also hoped to gain the sponsorship of Boomfa, Justin Marshall’s new energy drink – describing Marshall as an ‘old mate’.

When contacted by Thai Castle however, Marshall seemed less enthusiastic:

“Fuck that guy, even I wouldn’t party with him. Boomfa.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.