McCaw/Flynn Wedding Postponed After Wild Stag Do Lands Richie In Jail

The nation is in shock today after it was revealed that former All Black captain Richie McCaw has been arrested and charged with 55 criminal acts, resulting from his out of control stag party in Palmerston North.

The resulting arrest has meant his wedding to Gemma Flynn, scheduled for today, has been postponed indefinitely – leaving both the bride and the New Zealand Herald devastated.

Thai Castle understands that trouble started when the party, made up of around 100 current and former All Blacks, began drinking Justin Marshall’s new energy drink ‘Boomfa’ mixed with vodka, while at the Palmerston North Hilton Hotel.

‘Bro, that shit is nasty’ said one player, who asked to remain anonymous. ‘Everyone started going a bit crazy-eyes after a few, but since Marshall told us he sort all the drinks, no one brought any beers. So it’s all we had.’

The rowdy group then moved from the Hilton to the nearby Firecats strip club, where several Chiefs players were denied entry. McCaw apparently took offence to this and picked a fight with the bouncers. The resulting fracas spilled over into the street, damaging several cars and destroying at least one shop window.

‘Richie’s fuckin’ out of control when he’s on the Boomfas. It took 40 cops and a tranquilizer rifle to bring him down’ said another anonymous player.

Police have released a short statement saying that ‘we didn’t really want to arrest him, but he kinda left us no choice. Normally when All Blacks do shit like this we just ignore it, but heaps of people had their phones out filming it, so it would’ve made us look really fuckin’ bad if we didn’t do anything.’

Meanwhile, former Prime Minister John Key has denied any knowledge of the incident, tearfully admitting McCaw didn’t invite him to the party.

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19 Comments

  1. I come from New Zealand. This media outlet are pure deviants who make up news. Richie just got married in Wanaka in a closed ceremony. He never went to jail, your all a pack of muppets…

    Like

  2. The most hilarious part of this is those who believe everything on the internet and then post a comment revealing what twits they are 🙂

    Like

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