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THAI CASTLE LATEST

Donald Trump called into MAKE THE ALL BLACKS GREAT AGAIN

Hot on the heels of the most embarrassing loss since the All Blacks secretly lost to Tonga in 1995 but there were no TV rights so no one saw it, Donald Trump has come out in defence of the All Blacks and has vowed that, should he be elected President, he will “Make the All Blacks great again”

Thai Castle was wildly late to our one hour interview with Mr Trump. We had been drowning birds with the Irish rugby team, or as we called it “Sinking Guiness”, so the only statement we could get from Mr Trump was the following:

“The All Blacks are a remarkable team, a lot like myself really. Currently the All Blacks are Losers, absolute losers, they stink. A lot like Hillary.

When I become President, I will make the All Blacks great again, I will invite them to my office and talk about what real leadership look like, how to man up, like a man, and also how to deflect negative media attention.

Disabled bathrooms, strippers, street fighting, yeah I’ve done it all. But I’m smart, really smart, I’ve built a huge company, a very successful company, and I’m not stupid enough to let the media catch me doing anything stupid. How are these guys so stupid.

What you really need to do is to build a wall around the media”

Steve Hansen and Kieran Read have secured taxpayer funds to take a first class trip between their games versus Italy and France, after asking John Key really really nicely.

“Real men ride first class” smirked John Key

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