Dan Carter, Joe Rokocoko Admit They Failed Drug Test On Purpose To Take Heat Off Aaron Smith

Hard on the heels of the Aaron Smith disabled-toilet-in-broad-daylight-while-wearing-sponsored-gear-sex-scandal, former All Blacks Dan Carter and Joe Rokocoko have added to rugby’s week of controversy by failing a drugs test.

Currently competing in the French Top 14 for Parisian club Racing 92, the pair could face lengthy bans if found guilty.

However, Carter has revealed in an exclusive interview with Thai Castle that he is unconcerned as his intention was to take the media spotlight away from his horny former halfback.

‘Yeah I figured this was the best way to do it. So I played last night completely fucked up because I shelved two E’s. Honest to God, it was fuckin’ awesome. I was peaking hard.’ Carter told us.

‘Azza was always the biggest sex pest in the team, so this was bound to happen…I mean, the guy would fuck a hole in the wall. But he’s a good mate so we decided to do this so he wouldn’t have to fake-cry his way through another press conference.’

While Carter was on ecstasy and had a busy game, Rokocoko said he was under the influence of kava, which limited his ability to run, tackle and communicate.

Neither seemed surprised at the outcome of the game, which resulted in a 100-point loss for Racing 92.

Carter was again unconcerned: ‘We’re just up here for a joke anyway. How do you think I can afford all those pills?’


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