Prime Minister John Key’s notable absence from the All Blacks’ changing rooms this season has been explained in a leaked memo from Parliament today.
Thai Castle understands that Key admitted that he never bothered to learn any of the team’s names other than Richie McCaw. Given the popularity he gained by being associated with the former captain, it seems the PM saw the rest of the side as ‘an afterthought’.
When approached for comment, the PM said “Oh look, at the end of the day it’s a lot of guys and you all know I have a terrible memory. I can’t even remember whether I said I’d lower taxes at the last election.”
The All Blacks themselves seem unconcerned at the revelation, with many taking the opportunity to take a potshot at the PM.
“He was always a bit of a dick, to be honest” said Malakai Fekitoa “he only wanted to talk to Richie and the other white boys anyway. Once he gave me an empty beer to take away like I was a waiter or something.”
83 test veteran Owen Franks said the revelation only just made him realise who Key actually was: “He’s the prime minister? Oh man, I thought he was some handicapped guy who kept winning Make-A-Wish competitions.”
It’s understood Key won’t be seen post-match for this Saturday’s test against South Africa, preferring to spend his time trying to convince McCaw to come out of retirement.